Excuses to Get You Poolside
Summer is upon us, and that means beautiful, warm weather. We are at the very beginning of what will surely be several months full of wonderful blue sky, swim trunks and bikini kind of days, the number of which will surely be far greater than Saturdays, Sundays and two weeks worth of vacation.
Indeed to sit at a desk in an office filled with cold, conditioned air — not unlike the kind we’re forced to breath in airplanes — day after day throughout the summer is just plain wrong.
That’s why we’ve come up with a few excuses to help get you out of work during these glorious summer months. We’ve used the very elements of summer to help you get some more time hanging out poolside, getting a tan, swimming at the beach, or whatever floats your boat in the heat of these sizzling summer days. All we know is that you don’t want to be at the office. In pants. Or shoes. Or maybe clothes altogether, for that matter.
Long live the summer. Make it last, and make the most of it. Find that bar with the patio and order some nice cold ones every damn sun setting, royal blue sky night. Yes!
Here are the excuses:
“It was so hot yesterday that the wool suit I was wearing gave me this horrible rash. I don’t think I can make it into the office. My face and neck are just covered with this rash, and my legs as well. I think I’d really scare people, and it’s just itchy as all hell…”
“I fell asleep in the sun yesterday, and I’ve got a really bad sunburn. I can barely move, and I think I might have to go to the doctor.” (Of course, this means you have to go spend some time in the sun on your day off. Poor you.)
“My air conditioner must have blown out a fuse, and so my alarm clock didn’t go off this morning. And it got so stuffy in my apartment that it must have made me really oversleep. I can’t believe it’s almost noon… and I’m just totally dehydrated and not feeling too well. I don’t think I’ll be able to come in at all today.”
“I was doing volunteer community clean up work in the sun all day yesterday, and I worked myself so hard that I think I’m suffering from heatstroke. I’m not feeling well, so I better stay home today, just to make sure I’m okay.”
“I was swimming in the ocean yesterday, and I accidentally swallowed a whole bunch of salt water, and I’m not feeling too well today. Real queasy. I’m sure it’s nothing but I better stay home, drink lots of water, and rest up. I’m sure I’ll be fine by tomorrow.”
“My cat usually goes outside during the day while I’m at work, but right after I let him out, I realized how hot is was outside, and I just knew he should not be out in heat like this. I’ll come in as soon as I can, but I’ve got to find my cat. He just took off. I can’t find him. He’s a really furry cat and I just know he won’t do well in this heat. I’m so worried. I better get off the phone so I can keep looking for him.”
“I was rushing to get to work and I jumped into the car and the car seat was so hot that I burned the back of my legs. They’re all red and swollen and sore, so I think I’m going to have to let them heal today. It’s no big deal – I just wouldn’t be able to sit at my desk all day. But I’ll be in tomorrow.”
“I was walking around barefoot yesterday and I stepped on a nail. I could barely walk yesterday, and today it’s just a little bit better. I should be fine by tomorrow, but today, well, it still kind of hurts, and I also have to go to the doctor to get a tetanus shot.”
Be sure to consult the 2006 Sick Day Calendar.